Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Monday, April 11, 2005

The Power of a Compliment

It sounds so silly. If someone looks nice or does something extraordinary, compliment them. Why? Because people don't always know. Because the power of a compliment is completely underestimated.

I've always been uncomfortable receiving compliments because I always wonder if the person giving them is being honest. However, I love to give compliments. I want people to feel good about themselves, their decisions, their actions, etc. And, I must confess, I love being a part of giving them that feeling.

I can honestly say that last night was the first time I can remember receiving a compliment and feeling truly good about it. It was an amazing feeling for me. Maybe it was because I knew it was true. Maybe it was because I knew it was heartfelt. Maybe it was because I am ready to embrace life and be happy.

My ex and I bowl together twice a week. On Thursdays we're on different leagues but on Sundays we're on the same team.

My clothes last night were nothing special, just jeans and a t-shirt. But I took a few minutes to do my makeup, which I seldom wear.

Once we walked out of the alley, he and I hung around talking for a while and he told me that I looked really nice. When we were together he rarely complimented me (I can think of two times, in five years, where he actually came out and complimented me without someone else prodding him or leading him to do so). So while it was a little strange that he waited until there was literally no one within earshot it also made perfect sense somehow. See, our other teammates are men. Could he have waited because he hoped they didn't notice that I looked nice? Could he have wanted to avoid bringing their attention to it, in case it had escaped them? Or could he just have such a hard time offering words of praise that it was difficult enough to do in private?

Regardless, I was elated. I knew it and he knew it and we both enjoyed the feeling though I suspect there was some sadness on his part that he wasn't able to offer this when it mattered most.

I have to give him credit though. First, for acknowledging his previous inability to offer compliments and second, for making a girl with terribly low self-esteem feel elated. That is the best way to describe my feeling from that moment. That is what I mean by the power of a compliment. Looks like we're both beginning to make some changes.

3 Comments:

  • At 4/17/2005 12:24 PM, Blogger miran said…

    That was nice, i can understand that moment =)

     
  • At 4/18/2005 12:57 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hey! Thanks for the comment. Hope you're enjoying what you're reading. It's a little difficult to write such personal stuff and have people read it but it's fun to get the comments from people.

     
  • At 4/25/2005 2:05 PM, Blogger carriedoan said…

    I am a divorced woman (for two years now). When my husband and I first separated I was so scared and really didn't think I was going to make it but I'm still here and life is so much better without him in my life. I'm not trying to mean but life really has improved because of everything I learned about myself since he has left. We women are so much more than we give ourselves credit for because we spend way too much time trying to live the perfect romance and when it doesn't work out for some reason we blame ourselves. We shouldn't do this, we should look forward to the future and quit living in the past. Move on and receive what future has to offer. We are worth it.

     

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