Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Monday, May 02, 2005

Back in the Saddle

Today I drank a lot of water, I grabbed a salad for lunch and after work I went to the gym. It wasn't easy. I didn't want to go but I knew I had to. It's the only way I'm going to reach my goal on time. And believe me, time is ticking away. I've got two months to lose 15 pounds. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm trying to do this too quickly. I have afterall already lost a pretty significant amount this year.

Reminding myself of my goal is what made me go to the gym today even though I had about a thousand excuses not to. But I got there and worked hard, granted, I didn't work quite as hard as I did last week but I didn't drag my butt either.

It's only as I'm preparing this entry that I'm beginning to understand why (I think) I'm lacking motivation lately. I'm feeling sad again. It's that simple. Some days I feel good and some days I just don't. On good days I know I'm healing and I recognize how much I've grown in the last four months. Every other day makes me feel like I'm walking backwards.

This is a rough road to travel but I'm thankful for those people that I am close to (especially my new blogger buddies... you keep me writing)! I will heal. I will be okay. I will make my goal and then procede with new goals. I am confident of all of these things and that my friends is a feeling that I am not used to having!


  • At 5/02/2005 8:09 PM, Blogger M.Thom said…

    And reminding myself of my goal had me choking down cooked broccoli with dinner tonight...YUM! Actually, I used to love cooked broccoli, but I haven't eaten in a while, so it will take getting used to.

    Yoooooou caaaaan doooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeet!

  • At 5/02/2005 9:27 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Since originally finding your blog I keep coming back to read it... so many of your posts seem to describe the kinds of things I've been feeling lately. It's strange. Good luck with the dieting thing; I know how hard motivation can be to come by, for all things.
    -the other rebecca

  • At 5/03/2005 5:57 AM, Blogger Jen said…

    You are doing great, don't let the bad days get you down. Write about things that are bothering you here, and maybe it will make you feel better. Your goal of losing fifteen more pounds in two months is quite an aggressive one, so don't be too hard on yourself. I'm glad you're here and keep writing or I won't have anything to read!


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