Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Fairy Tale Faux Pas

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with Mary when I announced that the fairy tales I was so interested in as a kid, were partly responsible for the Emotional Idiot I have become.

I'm not going to say that I am the way I am strictly because of fairy tales or because of my parents or any other influencing factors on my childhood/life. What I am saying is that fairy tales did no favors for me. In fact, I believe that they hindered my growth and emotional well being.

This idea is something I've been kicking around for a little while. I've been interested in writing about it but I don't want to be preachy about it. At this point, I am responsible for my own life. There may have been mistakes made when I was growing up but I'm an adult and need to face the fact that it's time for me to change the things I don't like about myself.

I grew up thinking that love could and would conquer all. Honestly, since everything happened with my ex I wonder if this is true.

I believed that My Prince Charming was out there and would sweep me off my feet... sometimes I even believed this in the most literal sense. Likewise, I knew that when MPC did show up, we would both know and that everything would fall into place. But in reality, relationships take a lot of work.

Surprisingly, Mary agreed with me, at least a little. Looking back, I have to wonder why no one ever challenged me to be an individual. Why was I lead to believe that honestly, though innocently, believing in fairy tales was okay?

It's not that I think fairy tales are evil or wrong or bad. It's just that, I think, if we're going to let young girls especially watch or read them, we have to make sure that we teach them not to sit around and wait, and that we help instill a sense of individuality, empowerment and confidence.

If these things are instilled early enough, maybe the fairy tale dreams could come true.

5 Comments:

  • At 5/26/2005 11:42 AM, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said…

    How true! I couldn't agree with you more. I think that's why I'm still hanging on, I believe my Mr. Right could potentially be my Prince Charming. Or could he? Who knows...

     
  • At 5/26/2005 12:11 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    I think that love can conquer all, it just that sometimes when you think the love is there, it isn't. And even if it is there, it still takes work from both parties. My wedding ring(and my husband's) say "Amor vincit omnia" or "love conquers all" in latin because we do believe it is true. They are museum replica rings from many centuries ago but I think it still holds true.

     
  • At 5/27/2005 2:14 AM, Blogger ramblin' girl said…

    Love does conquer all... and it does take a lot of work, and sometimes even love isn't enough. It has to be accompanied by mutual respect, trust and admiration.

    (wow, who typed that... perhaps I should comment on some of my own sad stories...)

    One thing I can tell you from experience is... things will get better... but they may get worse before that. Oh, and 30 (and beyond) is definitely not so bad!

    Cheers!
    rg

     
  • At 5/27/2005 10:26 AM, Blogger patrice said…

    unfortunately, some lessons can only be learned the hard way. I doubt anyone could have adequately told you what you now know about relationships. or if they did tell you, you probably wouldn't have believed them.

    at least these hard lessons are the ones that stick the best. you're likely not to do the same things again.

     
  • At 5/30/2005 10:40 AM, Blogger srini said…

    you couldnt be any further from the truth. relationships have to be built - they are hard to build and easy to break.

    i found a great definition of love in Scott Pecks 'the road less traveled' wherein he talks about the 'falling in love' moment and details love. love happens only when the ego boundaries that separate the two are dissolved - however both have to respect the identities. this is very much easier read than practised. but i have a strong feeling that it will work.

    i hope that all of us would think on these lines in all our relationships.

     

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