Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Lackadaisical Day

Today I'm feeling very lackadaisical. But because I don't want to wallow in it, I'm just going to post some of the random activities and thoughts of my day so far.

I am frustrated today. For Christmas, one of the gifts my father got was a DVD player. It made it out of the box but never got hooked up to the TV. About two months ago, I went to Radio Shack and bought a box that I could connect the TV, cable box, VCR and DVD all up to and supposedly have everything work. Well, needless to say, I couldn't get everything to work but I did figure out that I needed an S-Cable.

Today I finally a) had money and b) remembered to get said cable. Well, I STILL can't get the freaking mess to work. It blows my mind that I'm having such difficulty with this. I may be an emotional idiot (ha ha ha) but I really am reasonably intelligent... especially when I have directions! I have, however, once again thrown my hands up in the air in complete and utter frustration.

But that wasn't even the most fun part of my day so far! Because it's such an incredibly nice day (for a change) I decided it would be a good time to give the dog a bath. She has no problem with being outside in mosoon-like weather but turn the hose on her and she couldn't be gone fast enough. Having already known this, I put her on her leash and tied the leash to the deck.

Poor thing was miserable and 95 pounds of wet, miserable dog is no fun for me either! Now, she's an akita and has thick fur so I wasn't about to towel dry her or babysit her until she was dry enough to come in the house. Once she was bathed, I let her off the leash. She promptly ran to the pool (which she thinks is a huge water bowl for her) for a drink and then collapsed under a bush. Why'd I bother, I wonder.

Since I'm losing weight and starting to feel better about myself, I found myself shopping, yet again today. It seems like I'm shopping a lot lately. Okay, it doesn't seem like it... it is that I'm shopping a lot! I guess it's good, insofar as it means that I'm feeling better. At least I got away with only buying two pairs of shoes today (one pair of sneakers and one pair of brown sandals).

I tried on some clothes and even liked one outfit but I refrained from buying it since I'm hoping that by the time the fall rolls around, it'd be too big on me.

Oh, speaking of which, I'm 12 pounds and 4 weeks away from my goal. It's still doable but will require a lot more work than I'm already putting into it. Keep your fingers crossed for me. (This is where you should tell me to get my rear end up from in front of the computer and get out there and exercise!)

For some reason today, I got to thinking about the ex and his birthday (still a few months away). I'm not really sure why but it was a happy thought. I was just remembering how last year I surprised him, at the bowling alley. I had had surgery 9 days before his birthday (to have my gall bladder removed). Since I was at home bored, I mean recovering, I made one of the cakes that his mom used to make for him (it's a white cake with chocolate chips made from scratch... oooohhhh is it good). I stopped at the party supply store and picked up plates, napkins and forks and I hid all of this stuff in the back of my truck. I was sure that when he got in the truck he'd smell the cake but he didn't. So, I waited until his team was practicing before I went outside to sneak everything into the alley. Mind you, it was a Thursday so I wasn't sitting with him, I was with my team. After his first game, when I knew he had gone outside for a cigarette, I brought the stuff down to his lanes and set it up with candles and the works. It really wasn't a lot but he was super surprised and it's the closest thing he's ever had to a surprise party, which I had intended to throw him this year. Oh well. At least I had the opportunity to surprise him last year.

Speaking of the bowling alley, I was going to go and buy a new ball today but now I'm not so sure. I'm sure I need a new ball (it couldn't possibly be my fault I'm bowling lousy lately, it's got to be the ball's fault!) I made it up to the alley this morning but they weren't open yet. Now I'm just not feeling up to it.

I guess it has something to do with my earlier shopping excursion. Like I said, I only bought two pairs of shoes but even as I was buying them, I was thinking that I shouldn't. That maybe... no definately... I should be putting that money into the bank. But the urge to splurge won out. Duh... like I had any doubt that it would.

My best girlfriend from college called me this week from Virginia, where she lives, to tell me that she met a nice guy. And this is a big deal. You have to understand, C, as I'll refer to her, has had terrible taste in men. I'm hoping that this one is nice to her and treats her well. Well, maybe I should put the brakes on... they've only gone out a few times.

She's funny, I went to visit her a few weeks after the big break up and it was good. We laughed at how we'd ever managed to become friends and that we've somehow managed to maintain our friendship. Like I said, we met in college. We lived next door to one another freshman year. She was a cheerleader and I've always despised cheerleaders (every time I ever tried to be friendly with them, they were everything BUT friendly to me). But somehow, we became close and she's the only one from college that I talk to on a semi-regular basis. Well, pretty much at all, if I'm totally honest.

Anyway, C has more experience with men, in more ways than one, than I do and I was telling her that I wished I could be more like her. Do you know what her response was? She said she wished she could be more like me. Now how's that for you? It surprised me to say the least. I guess everyone thinks the proverbial grass is greener on the other side.

I've e-mailed blogger help to find out how in the world to get my profile, links, etc. back to the top of my blog but so far have only received a generic message that says to check out all of the areas I've already looked at to see if the answer to my problem is already out there. I couldn't find it so now I'm waiting to hear back. I'm sure it's something silly. Like, I probably hit something when I was either changing the name of Jen's blog or posting something else. I don't know. I just want help.

But back to Jen's blog. I think it looks so cool. The black background is nice though the white text sometimes makes me cross eyed! But I think it looks especially nice with all of her bird pictures since they are so colorful! Speaking of pictures on Jen's blog, is that new pic you, Jen? The other one wasn't close up so I can't really tell. But this one is awesome. It's quite beautiful.

Well, I've been writing for what seems like a long time so I'm going to save up some of my other random thoughts for another time. Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!


  • At 5/28/2005 6:25 PM, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said…

    Happy holiday weekend! Your dog story made me laugh and laugh and laugh because evertime my parents give their little 9 pound dog a bath she does the SAME EXACT THING!

  • At 5/28/2005 6:26 PM, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said…

    Oh yes, and you can never beat a few new pairs to shoes and shopping for smaller sized clothes to make you feel good!

    Congrats on being so close to your goal! : )

  • At 5/28/2005 7:21 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    I think that everyone has someone they would like to be more like. For me it is my friend Amanda, who I haven't seen in years but feel better just knowing she's there. She is one of the greatest people I have ever met. Thanks for complimenting my blog in your post, too. I have similar problems as you do when trying to make any changes; I don't really know what I am doing, I just keep trying things and hitting the preview button to see what happens. If I don't like it I click "clear edits" and if it is good, I click save changes. Ramblin' Girl helped me to figure out how to change my title font, she is really good at that type of thing, maybe you should ask her. I believe she comments here on your blog. The picture is of me taken just the other day because I thought I needed a recent picture and because you couldn't really see me very well in the other one.

  • At 5/28/2005 7:26 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    Hey, I just noticed that your profile, links, etc. ARE on the top of your page! Could it be the resolution that you are viewing the page in or the font size or something like that? Because your page looks fine to me; the same as always.

  • At 5/29/2005 9:46 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Glad to have provided some laughs GGG05!

    Jen, really your picture is beautiful. You say my page looks fine to you? That's strange because from here (and when I signed on at work) all that stuff was way down at the bottom of the page. It's not a big deal but it irritates me.

    Hope you have a great weekend!

  • At 5/29/2005 1:57 PM, Blogger ramblin' girl said…

    Thanks, Jen for calling me out on my nerdiness... ;-)
    If what I describe below doesn't work or you have other questions, let me know. And thinking about your ex with happy memories and good thoughts is a great step!!

    Here's the part of your template you need to change, the part that says #sidebar-wrapper you should be able to replace that section (before it gets to the #sidebar part) with what's below:

    #sidebar-wrapper {
    display: inline; /* fixes a strange ie margin bug */
    float: right;
    margin: 0 3px 0 0;
    width: 249px;
    color: #761c37;
    background: url(http://www.blogblog.com/thisaway_rose/bg_sidebar.gif) repeat-x left top;

  • At 5/29/2005 6:59 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    Your nerdiness is AWESOME, RG. You should be proud of your knowledge, as it is very useful. Enginerds rock!

  • At 5/29/2005 9:01 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Thanks for the help Jen and RG! I appreciate it! Looks like things are back to normal!

  • At 5/31/2005 10:11 AM, Blogger 28goingon40 said…

    Gotta love that we all need a little HTML help once in a while. I hate HTML, but I am trying.

  • At 9/26/2005 10:01 AM, Blogger Rolo said…

    Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Party Supply these days. I have a Party Supply Exposed if you want to come check it out.


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