Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Hunger Pains

Recently, I've noticed that if I don't eat as soon as I start to feel hungry, I get these terrible pains in my stomach, back and shoulders. Sometimes I even get a headache. It's not like I'm trying to starve myself. I just don't eat at the same exact times every day. I know you're supposed to but how many people can actually say they do? It's bizarre and there's no explanation for it (that I can think of anyway). Go to the doctor, you suggest. Nah, the last time I did that I had to have surgery. Thanks anyway. I'll pass on that until I pass out!

Very intelligent. I know. I'm full of bright ideas.

I decided earlier today to name my entry hunger pains but I realized shortly afterwards how much that can really describe and I should know because I'm hungry for a lot of things. There's the obvious: the hunger for food. Enough said about that for now. But there's the hunger for companionship, love, safety, independence, etc.

I realized I'm not alone in my hunger for these things. A lot of people share this hunger. Of course, everyone handles how they deal with it differently. Since the big breakup I've been working on building my confidence (a difficult time to start that process by the way), learning how to better understand my feelings and why I do or say some of the things I do or say or why I don't do or say some of things I should. I've been making progress and feeling better but there is still this hunger. All the flirting I'm doing isn't quenching it because I want more.

Everything that happens, happens for a reason though the reason may not be clear to us at the time. If I remember this and push forward, I should be fine.

2 Comments:

  • At 6/19/2005 11:35 AM, Blogger srini said…

    what hit me most was the second part of the post - and you know why.

    i like the way you are thinking. most of the times a tough low situation in life helps us get our life going in the right direction; and i think thats whats happening to you. am glad for you.

    and you reverberate my thoughts - 'everything happens for a reason - a good reason'. even the fact that we have landed up within each others contact, i am sure, is for some reason. which later on if we consciously trace back we will acknowledge.

    great going. wish you the very best in your awakening!!!

     
  • At 6/19/2005 12:01 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Thanks Srini! Appreciate it!

     

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