Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Assorted Thoughts...

He called. His first night on the road and he already called. :-) I felt good about that. Especially since I was surprised that he called so soon. We spoke for nearly 20 minutes and he said he'd call me again on Friday. Interesting.

In related thoughts, it has been suggested to me (by a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent friend) that I am putting too much pressure on the possible relationship with AIM. Hmmm... that's not something I'm thrilled to hear but I'll admit that it is completely true.

There is a lot of pressure. It's been so long since I've been single that I'm just really unsure of everything. I am fine getting to know people but I sort of freak when that element of romantic interest shows up. I panic. What the heck is wrong with me? I'm nearly 30, I want to get married and I want to have kids. So why am I acting like such a drama queen? I think you all know what I mean... I want to show my good qualities. I also want to hide the psycho-like qualities from any potential mate. I think I've been doing a good job of that with AIM so far but I feel a lot of pressure not to fail again.

I know, I know. It takes two to make a relationship work and any relationship that doesn't isn't so much a failure as it is a stepping stone on the path of growth to the relationship that will work.

So I must say thank you to my beautiful, wonderful, intelligent friend who offered me this insight. I appreciate you and your perspective. My gratitude goes out to all of my blogging friends as well. Without your help, I'd really be a mess!


  • At 8/04/2005 12:55 PM, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said…

    I told you he would call!

  • At 8/04/2005 7:48 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    Really glad to hear that he called. I have to say, though, that while you are showing off your good qualities, I don't think you should hide your percieved bad qualities, because they are part of you too. Anyone that is a potential mate is going to love you for all of your qualities, good and bad. It is kind of unfair to hide the qualities you don't like about yourself, because they are certain to surface later. Honestly, you will be amazed that you will find "the one" who thinks all of your quirks and "bad traits" are cute or at least livable. There is truly someone out there for everyone. Personally I have some downright horrible traits, but for some strange reason my husband still loves me and doesn't seem to mind. Amazing, isn't it?

  • At 8/05/2005 9:31 AM, Blogger patrice said…

    I'm with jen - not only does embracing your flaws make you more confident (and extremely more attractive - seriously - ask anyone) but it will ensure that when you get close enough that the flaws sort of come to the forefront, the guy isn't taken aback by them. I'm not saying to make your flaws a centerpiece, but you know...don't try too hard to be something other than who you are.

    that said, I totally understand what you're saying about the pressure. I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about that feeling.

  • At 8/05/2005 6:31 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Wow... I go a few days without checking your blog and suddenly there's four posts I haven't read!

    As an eighteen-year-old who's never actually had a steady boyfriend, I'm afraid I don't have much to offer on this topic, except to say that I wish the two of you the best of luck. And maybe a reminder to be careful not to over-analyze every little thing he does... but feel free to ignore me, as I have no experience in the area, and anyway have certainly done my share of over-analyzing members of the opposite sex. ;-)

    Anyway, go Rebecca! Obviously he's thinking of you, if he calls the very first night!


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