Emotional Idiocy At Its Best
I e-mailed AIM on Saturday and said I would give him a call on Sunday or Monday. Yes, maybe this was overkill since he is on vacation but I wanted to hear his voice. I am such a lame-o girl. On Sunday night I called and left a voicemail message. Shortly after that I signed online and there was an e-mail from AIM saying he would call me on Monday. After having already left him a voicemail, I opted against answering the e-mail. I figured that would REALLY be overkill. Today is Thursday. I have not heard from him. At all. Not an e-mail, text message or phone call. I am one cranky bitch right now.
Yesterday, during my lunch break I went to the book store and purchased a copy of He's Just Not That Into You. Sure, I'd heard all the hype about it when the book first came out but I didn't need help! For crying out loud, I was in a 5-plus year relationship. How, after that long, could he not be into me?
Anyway, I purchased, started and finished the book yesterday. It was good. It seems very black and white, cut and dry, and based on common sense. Some of the lessons, for those of you who have not read it, include:
- Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking. (But what about what the other article said about this being okay?)
- Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
- If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. (But he's on my mind and I haven't called him again... maybe we just had a miscommunication and he IS thinking of me and missing me terribly.)
- You deserve a fucking phone call.
- You are good enough to be asked out.
- There's a guy out there who wants to marry you.
- He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he's just not that into you.
- Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
- You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
- You already have one asshole. You don't need another.
These are some of my favorite points the book makes. Of course, they sort of conflict with the article I posted from the other day that says it's okay to make the first move, to ask a guy out.
Confused? Yes, I am. I think that is fairly obvious. I have not tried to make contact with AIM since Sunday. I am going to see what happens. If, when I do see/talk to him again, he says anything about it, I'm playing around with this response (let me know what you think):
"I am 29 years old. I have loved deeply and been hurt deeply. I am ready to find a man who is not going to jerk me around, who makes it known that I am important to him through both his words and actions and who follows through with what he says he is going to do and I will not settle for less than that."
Earlier in the week I explained to a very good friend that I am disappointed and hurt by the fact that he did not call (mostly because he said he would) and that I was disappointed in myself for obviously being so wrong about people. I had a really good feeling about him... that he was a good, nice man.
I know that I have not so subtly implied that I would like to see where I could go with AIM in terms of a relationship but I also want to be his friend. Yes, I have been impatient with the speed, or lack thereof, with which our budding relationship has been going. But I do want to get to know him better before I jump into something serious.
It has been suggested to me that AIM is a good and nice man. That he does like me because afterall, he has called me since he's been gone... just not this time, when he said he would. It has also been suggested that I just play it cool, not mention anything about my disappointment and not wait. So why, even after reading this book and having so many discussions on this subject, do I still want to hold out hope?