I Can't Seem To Stop Writing...
This post is one that has been inspired by Srini, my lone regular male reader. While you ladies out there are always supportive and insightful, Srini has been asking me questions regarding my obsessive fixation (is that redundant?) on AIM and where things may or may not be heading with us. *Before I continue, thanks for making me look inside myself for the answers, Srini!*
I used to have friends who were ALWAYS in relationships. They could be brokenhearted about the end of a relationship on Friday and by Monday have a new boyfriend. I'm serious. There were some friends who seemed to NEED a boyfriend. It was like they didn't exist if they were not seeing someone. I never understood this and still don't to be quite honest. I kind of like my solo time. Though I should admit that I tend to lose my time when I enter into a relationship.
For me, it's always been important to heal when a relationship ends, which is why I have not sought out any male companionship since the big breakup. (Since AIM sought me out that is.) I don't like the idea of rebound relationships. I would never want to be one and therefore don't think I could do that to someone else either. It's the same as flings/one night stands/hooking up/no strings attached. (I am NOT judging anyone here, these are things I am not comfortable with for me, is all I'm saying.)
So it's been quite a few months since I reentered the single life and I've been using my time to get reacquainted with myself and to relearn how to appreciate solo time and me in general.
I have gotten starry-eyed with AIM. I know this. And at times, quite frankly, it has been nearly unbearable for me.
With all of this said, what is it that I want? I'll tell you. I want to find a man who will love me deeply, respect me and cherish me as a woman, person and eventually also as a wife and mother. I don't think this is unrealistic, unattainable or too much to ask for. When I do find this man, I would like to have at least two children with him as well.
I think I need to take Robin's advice and make a mental list of what it is that I will and will not put up with on the road to finding this man. I also need to draw the line on making excuses for other people (i.e., he's on vacation and just got busy, he forgot what day is was, maybe he thought it was too late to call, etc.). But as I said in an earlier post, short of saying he would call, AIM has absolutely NO obligation to me. We are merely talking right now.
I saw this article online today and felt it had some relevance to AIM and I. I have included the link to it as I have also shortened it somewhat to suit my blog.
Dating & Relating How to ask him out By Randy B. Hecht
How often have you met a guy who seems worth getting to know better — a neighbor, a classmate, a friend of a friend, whatever — and been disappointed because he didn’t take the next step? If you’re so interested in this guy, why don’t you make a move?
If you’re ready to give it a try, remember these tips:
Be confident, charming and calm. Or at least pretend to be. This may be your first time asking a guy out, but he doesn’t have to know that. (Yea, I forgot this part.)
Grab a natural segue. Look for some opening in your conversations that can allow the invitation to be made as naturally as possible. (Did this successfully.)
Be direct and specific. Let’s have none of that wishy-washy “Would you like to go out some time?” business. Have a date and activity in mind and issue a full invitation. (Did this successfully.)
Keep it simple. For a first date, something casual and relaxed is a better bet than something overtly romantic or intimate. (Did this successfully.)
Don’t overwhelm him. Many men are perfectly cool with — even attracted to — the idea of a woman who will make the first move. If he does accept, the ball’s in his court to ask you out for your second date.*
*This is where we stand now.