Okay, so a fact I may or may not have mentioned is that after the big breakup I started therapy. It's something I had thought a great deal about over the years but never really had the nerve to do because, well, I'm fine. I'm not sick and I certainly don't need help sorting through my feelings. I mean, really, I have friends for that.
Even though I had all of those opinions about why I shouldn't go to therapy... somewhere inside I knew I needed it. I knew that there was so much inside that could really drag me down and suffocate me if I let it. The big breakup was the catalyst to the proverbial damn breaking. After about two months, when I was still crying ALL of the time, etc., I decided to seek out help. Although my friends are great, I knew I needed more.
The process has not been wonderful with each and every session. There are days when the therapist pushes my buttons and pisses me off and days where she is really great.
Today was one of the days where she pissed me off. We discussed my very intense inner rage today. I have strong anger issues where my parents are concerned (something I really didn't need a therapist to identify) and am apparently very angry at AIM for backing out of yesterday so late in the day. (I identified some annoyance but anger/rage are not words I would have used for that particular situation.)
Anyway, I thought therapy was supposed to make you feel better. Sure, I know, sometimes you have to feel worse on the road to feeling better but I've been doing that. So where does this come from?
Am I really angry at AIM? Disappointed? Yes. Hurt? Sure. But angry? I don't know about that.