Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Monday, September 26, 2005

Good Times

Things here are good. Things with AIM and I are moving along. He informed me today that we have two Halloween parties to go to and that I will need a costume. Any ideas? I don't think I've dressed up for Halloween since I was about 10!

I like that he is looking that far ahead. I know that one month is not really that far ahead but at this stage, it kind of is.

Anyway, I have realized that I have a tendency to put the men in my life up on pedestals. I don't think I ever mean to. As a matter of fact, I think it's more because of my own lack of self esteem. I look at the men in my life to guide me, in a sense, and wind up sort of worshipping them. I'm trying not to do that with AIM but I have to tell you that he is really sweet to me.

He bought me earrings. We've been talking since July but have only really been seeing each other for a few weeks. I wear a necklace with a heart pendant on it almost daily. He saw a pair of heart shaped earrings, thought of me and bought them for me. And that's just one example of his sweetness. There are many others but I don't care to share them all with you right now! (Sorry).

Well, I hope this wasn't too much of a teaser. I just wanted you all to know that I am still here, I'm trying to catch up with each of you and I am happy.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Back From Hiatus

I know it's been a while since I posted last and I apologize for my hiatus and for the fact that I gave you no warning whatsoever that it was coming! To be honest, I have yet to catch up with each of the folks I typically read daily... and I feel so out of the loop!

To get you all up to speed with me...

There's not really all that much that is new. I've been working my "real" job as well as the t-shirt shows (which are now done until January). At work, we've been banned from using our computers for personal use so there has been no checking e-mail or blogging during the day. I'm trying to get back to the gym and, now that it's not so wickedly hot out, walking. Oh yea, and things with AIM and I are fabulous. We talk on the phone for hours on end. Plus, we've seen one another quite a few times. He surprised me a week ago Thursday by coming to the bowling alley... something I'm hoping he does tonight, since I miss him terribly! I am going to see him tomorrow night as well.

Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to catch up with everyone here over the next few days. It feels like it's been forever and I miss you all! Hope everyone's doing well and I'll try not to be gone for so long again!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

A 24-Hour Date

I'm going to start off this entry with a very brief update on the happenings with AIM and I. On Wednesday night we spoke on the phone for approximately two hours. On Friday night, we had been chatting online for about two and a half hours when he asked if he could call me and when he did, we were on the phone for just under another two hours.

He was originally supposed to go away this weekend but stayed home because his stomach was bothering him.

Now onto the 24-hour date:

I had a t-shirt show on Saturday. AIM called me on my cell phone during the day to say hello and let me know he hadn't gone away. It got busy around that time though so I called him back as I was heading home. We had been on the phone only briefly when he asked if he could call me back in a few minutes. No problem. The show was only about 10 minutes away from home for me so I got there and signed on to check my e-mail. After a few minutes, AIM IMs me apologizing for ending our phone conversation a little while earlier.

So we were chatting. Since he was home, I asked if he had any plans for the weekend. He said no and I asked if he wanted company. He said sure if I didn't mind going to him and asked if I'd like to go to dinner. I said that would be great but that I was going to have to get in the shower first and gave him an approximate time that I would be leaving my house.

When I got out of the shower, there was a message from him saying that if I'd like to stay with him for the night, I was welcome.

Without putting too much thought into it (since everyone tells me I need to stop overthinking and just start doing) I packed a bag and headed out the door.

I got to his house and we went out to dinner and then back to his house where we watched my favorite Disney movie ever... The Lion King. (We'd been talking about Broadway shows ealier in the week and I said I wanted to see TLK. He said he had seen it and it was good but that he hadn't seen the movie. So I suggested I bring it over.)

About halfway through the movie he took my hand and held it for the rest of the movie. After the movie, we began to kiss and kiss and kiss some more. A little after three in the morning, I informed him that I'd be staying and he retrieved my bag from the car for me.

I also informed him that there would be no sex. Not on this particular night anyway. He didn't ask any questions as to why and he didn't try to push the issue. He said it was fine and that I shouldn't worry about it. I thanked him and he said there was no need to.

Anyway, he offered to sleep separately, if I would be more comfortable but said if I wanted to sleep with him it didn't mean anything had to happen. I stayed with him and we continued to just kiss for a few more hours. He amazed me. I felt wonderful with him. He stroked my face when he kissed me, held my hands, looked me in the eye, and told me I had a beautiful smile. We finally fell asleep around 6 am.

When he finally decided we should get out of bed, it was almost 1:30. Before he showered, he asked if I'd like him to make breakfast and he suggested pancakes. (This is important because pancakes are my all time favorite breakfast food and he has no way of knowing this.) So, he made pancakes.

After breakfast, he asked if I'd like to stay for a while longer because his next door neighbors were having a little get together in the backyard. I stayed and had a good time. They were friendly, funny, generous people. Also, it didn't hurt that AIM kissed me and held my hand while there a number of times.

Finally, I left to come home (more because I didn't have the foresight to bring enough clothes for tomorrow than anything)! It was, from the time I left my house yesterday to the time I pulled into the driveway today, almost 24 hours.

I'm so incredibly tired right now, it's not even funny but I am feeling wonderful.