Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving

Tomorrow my parent's and I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle and my cousin Alissa. Usually, the celebration includes a few other people, like Mary (who is unfortunately for us working this year) and various boyfriends of Alissa, Mary or I.

With Mary unable to make the trip and various boyfriends either not existing or having other plans, it's going to be a pretty quiet holiday. We're not an especially rowdy bunch but it's going to be strange.

Don't get me wrong... I know that tomorrow is about giving thanks for the wonderful things in our lives but shouldn't we do that everyday? I appreciate my family and feel selfish that I would like so much to see AIM on the holiday. Whether he came here or I went there or we ate two dinners apiece because we each visited with the other family... it doesn't matter. I just want to see him. But I don't think I'm going to. And as difficult as it is for me, I have to keep in mind that it is his first major family holiday since his mom passed away. I, thankfully, have not yet had to endure this type of loss and while that is great for me, it makes me wonder what I can do (if there's anything) to make the day easier or at least less painful for AIM. So far, the friends I've spoken with, tell me just to back off but let him know I'm here for him. I think I've done that but I honestly don't feel like it's enough.

I don't know that I'm really looking for answers here (though they would be as appreciated as always). I didn't even mean to turn this post into a vent... I just sort of got caught up in the feeling.

Well, before I get too far sidetracked from my original intention... I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

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