I know I've been terrible about keeping up with my own blog and, in truth, I've been even worse about keeping up with the ones that I've linked to and used to read daily. However, I was trying to catch up the other day and was struck by what Amy had posted
Excerpt: Sometimes I just don't want to talk...I want to be silent and I want people to not look at what I am doing or typing or watching and say "What's that?"....grrrr.
I know exactly what you're talking about Amy! I live with my folks and this is one of my biggest problems with my mother. She'll either just watch me do things or she'll talk to me, say first thing in the morning, when she knows (because this used to be a daily ritual) that I don't want to talk in the mornings. I just want to be left alone for crying out loud.
Unfortunately, at times, I just want to be alone period. Well, okay. Not exactly. It's hard to explain but sometimes I need a break from everyone I know. It's not that I ever really want to be alone. Usually, it's that the person/people I want to be with don't want to or can't be with me and therefore I punish everyone else. Hmmm... I think I just had an epiphany. I've never really looked at it quite that way but it's true. Wow. I suck. Sorry for doing that to all of you.
Anyway, I know that in the past Amy has expressed some of the feelings I have about our lives in a way that makes it seem like she's reading my mind. I'm working on being happy with me and with my life but I get sidetracked sometimes when I see how happy other people are or how lucky some people seem to be. I get frustrated and wonder "why not me?".
But that brings me to one final comment... I want to thank RG for her comment to the quote I posted the other day. You are so right. There is a lot of love in my life now but I guess I needed the reminder.