Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Where To Start?

I'm at work right now. I got here about a half hour early so that I could just have some peace and quiet. I've been meaning to write for a few days, I just haven't seemed to get around to it but now that I have, you're in for it!

I'll start off first by saying that I have been feeling really good about myself for a little while. I can't say what I can attribute this to and frankly, I don't care too much. AIM is going to take me to the airport on Friday (btw, I am really looking forward to getting away for a few days) and picking me up on Tuesday. When I first asked him I thought it would be great because I could get a kiss good-bye and maybe a little something more to welcome me home. Instead, I think I'm going to end our sexual relationship. He's out there looking for something (I found a personal ad of his online that said it's been active recently) though I admit I'm not sure what. I don't regret what's happened between us but I think I am strong enough to say that I'm not cool with just being another notch on his belt. I want more than he is willing and/or able to give so it's going to have to be his loss. (Wish me luck that I am able to be strong enough to voice this when I see him.)

In other happenings in my life, last night was a bad night all around. My dad took a shower last night but when he was done there was a lot of bleeding from his wound. It was pretty scary to see how much blood. Maybe I watch too many crime shows on TV but the bathroom looked like a murder scene, there was that much blood all over the floor. Mom changed the dressing on the wound and I cleaned the bathroom and all was well with the exception that my father was terribly embarrassed to have had me see him that way.

As if that didn't make the evening exciting enough, the dog had another seizure at 2:00 this morning. It was a short one but she was out of it afterwards for a little longer than she has been in the past. She seems to be back to normal today though.

Between the two of them, I am a little hesitant to take this trip to Florida but I need it so much now.

On one interesting note, my boss asked me yesterday what it was that I would be doing if I wasn't worrying about my family. Hmmm, good question. One that I have yet to be able to answer.

1 Comments:

  • At 2/22/2006 10:48 AM, Blogger patrice said…

    good for you with AIM. you're better than that.

    sorry to hear about your dad and dog. I hope florida treats you well.

     

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