Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Home From Florida

I am home from Florida.

At this point I'm not sure how I feel about that.

If you want the short version... I had a really great time, the party was a success and I even got a base tan started. If you are interested in the extended version, read on!

My flight was departing from JFK at 1:25 pm on Friday. AIM had suggested I arrive at his house (since he was dropping me off at the airport) around 10:30 or 11 am. I got there just before 10:30. I was feeling strong. I was going to tell him that what's been going on with us is done because I want more than he's willing to give. But then I thought, "he's picking me up at the airport on Tuesday, do I really want to tell him this now?". Going with that train of thought, I didn't say anything. (Okay, what really happened was that when we kissed I just enjoyed the moment of it too much to say anything.) Besides, do I really need to say it? It's not like we see each other often so if I were to just not be open to his touch and his attention when we are together, wouldn't that be enough? Before I digress further... he dropped me at the airport, kissed me good-bye, wished me a good time, asked me to call when I got there and told me he'd see me in a few days. I did call when I got there but not again until I was back in town and looking for him on Tuesday.

When my cousin Tom and I got to his house, where I was staying, his wife and my aunt and uncle were already there. Shortly after we arrived my cousins Patti and Bonnie showed up with Bonnie's husband and step daughter. After we sat down to dinner we were joined by Shannon, my cousin Christopher's bride-to-be. This was the first time I'd met Shannon and I liked her immediately. If it sounds like it was a little crazy at Tom and Andrea's, rest assured, it was! It was great to see this much of my family and to start to catch up but we were all pretty tired pretty quick.

The purpose of the trip was to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday at a surprise luncheon. Let me tell you, my grandmother has lived on her own for 28 years, she still drives, works part time and plays golf on a regular basis. She's pretty darn amazing. I don't know if there's even a glimmer of hope that I'll make it to 90 but if I do, I want to do it the way she has!

But back to the story at hand... The party was a smashing success. My grandmother was completely clueless about it. As sharp as she is, it took her a good minute to fully comprehend what was happening. As wonderful as it was for my grandmother, I have to say that it was pretty wonderful for my cousins and I as well. We all had the opportunity to meet family that we had never met and hear stories we had never heard. (One such story was that my great grandfather got a mail order bride from the SEARS catalog after his second wife passed away but his boys, who were teenagers by then, made her so miserable that within two weeks, she was back on a train to the midwest.)

But again, I digress. I won't bore you with the details of each day but I had practically no time to myself since I had four days to visit with a minimum of 13 people. I managed though and had a great time to boot.

Prior to my trip I was contemplating whether or not to go back to Florida in May for Chris and Shannon's wedding but I liked her so much that now I think I need to go! And it has nothing to do, seriously, with the fact that they're getting married on the beach! That's just a bonus!

So, I arrived back at JFK a few minutes ahead of schedule, got my luggage and went outside to catch my ride, who was not yet there. I called, he said to go back inside so I didn't freeze and that he'd call me when he got close (he wasn't that far away). About ten minutes later he called, said he'd be there in about a minute and asked if I had fun. I told him I did have fun but that I'd tell him all about it when I was in the car and told him where to find me.

In the car, I learned that he hadn't been feeling well at all that day. A friend of his had just gotten over the flu and he was wondering if he was coming down with it now. He also told me that his brother and sister-in-law found out that the bundle of joy they are expecting in June is going to be another girl. I also filled him in on my trip. We got back to his house put my bags in my car and then went upstairs for a few minutes. I had a soda, he had a club soda. We chatted. He gave me a few brief kisses. I gave him a thank you card and a candle. I left a thank you card for his brother and sister-in-law too. He told me I was crazy. I told him I didn't care. Then I left.

When I got home, no one heard me. Everyone was asleep. Even the dog. She didn't hear me until I went into the bathroom. She smelled like she does after a seizure but there was no note, no one was awake to confirm and she was acting okay. I learned this morning that she did have another seizure last night, shortly after my plane landed. It's only been a week since the last one. It's pretty scary but I have to wonder if they're not brought on, at least in part, by stress or by sensing the stress surrounding my dad's health.

Today was my day to get back on track with my plans to improve upon me. Since I had the foresight to take today off of work, I went to the track and did a brisk three-mile walk and am now catching up on laundry. Fun, fun.

Before I go though, I want to share with you an excerpt from the book I'm reading. The book is called American Girls About Town. It's labeled as "A Star-Studded story collection featuring America's red-hot women writers." I bought it because it includes something from Jennifer Wiener that I hadn't read. Anyway, the excerpt...

Sometimes you just have to believe that people spend a lifetime stockpiling stupidity, so they can drag it out on special occasions.

Ahh, well, I thought it was pretty funny.


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