Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just A Quick Venting Session

Things being what they are at home, it seems almost absurd to let little things get to me but I am and that's why I'm here... to vent. I'm currently frustrated because while I work Monday - Friday 9 - 5, my mother stays at home. I don't resent her for that, I enjoy getting out of the house and going to work (most days). What bothers me about this arrangement is that she doesn't take the garbage out to the curb. She'll move the trash can so that it's in my way when I leave for work. Even on mornings when she goes to the store before I leave for work she doesn't take it out. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind taking it out. But ask me. Don't gather all the garbage you can and just pile it in my path to my vehicle. As you can imagine, since she doesn't take it out, she also doesn't bring the empty trash can back up from the street. Nor does she get the mail out of the mailbox. She's so concerned about identity theft that she shreds or blacks out names, addresses, etc. from all of our mail before throwing it out but she doesn't think twice about leaving the mail in the mailbox at the curb.

Yesterday morning at around 4:30 or 5, she was awake and the dog needed to go out. Did she put the dog on the leash and take her out? Nope. She woke me up to do it. SHE WOKE ME UP. I haven't been sleeping very well at all since this whole fiasco began and she had the nerve to wake me up when she was already awake.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, she was sitting at the kitchen table doing a jigsaw puzzle. She tells me that there were a few things my father wanted me to bring to the hospital tonight but that she needs to look for them, so could I come home during my lunch hour to get them? I'll be honest, I work close to home so it's not like it's an incredible inconvenience but I'm putting so many miles on my vehicle going back and forth between the hospital that this is just a few extra miles that could really very easily be avoided.

Another thing that bugs me about my mother is that she constantly lies to me about trivial things. Mostly about her smoking. She had quit for a long time and when she went back to it, she was smoking only when I wasn't around. (Like late at night when I was already sleeping, early in the morning before I was awake, etc.) Although I don't and never have smoked, I've lived with that smell for 30 years. I know it. It's familiar. I can place it. But she'll still lie and say she wasn't smoking. Well, the other day she told me she had two packs left and after that she was done. A few days later I commented that her two packs were lasting a long time considering how much she smokes and she told me she had found a third pack. That was a few days ago and she's still smoking. I just don't understand why she lies about it. I mean, when she told me she was going to stop I didn't believe her. I never do anymore because I know she won't and if she does it won't be for long. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! Just had to get that out of my system.


  • At 3/29/2006 9:35 AM, Blogger lonna said…

    That's rough. I'm sorry that your mom doesn't see your side. I know that when I'm stressed out it's the little things that just push me over the edge.

    Regarding the smoking. My dad quit for two years and then hid it for one year before my mom found out. I knew pretty quickly and I have no idea what took my mom so long, but it was pretty disappointing. He's quit again and it's been two years, so hopefully it'll stick this time.

  • At 3/30/2006 6:16 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    I love my mother dearly, but couldn't live with her again back at her house. Maybe that is the problem; you want things your way, but it is her house and she wants things her way. Maybe it is time to strike out on your own again.


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