Home of an Emotional Idiot

While there were times when he wished he could roll back the clock and erase all the sadness, he had a hunch that if he did so, the joy would be diminished as well. And that was something he couldn't contemplate. (From At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Time to Write... Finally!

I finally have found some time to write. Yay.

Yesterday I spent several hours with a good friend of mine. She was approximately four months pregnant and there were complications. The outlook wasn't good and the doctor said she should consider termination. After many tests and many doctors, she and her husband learned that there was little to no chance the baby would survive to birth. If the baby did survive the chances of he/she being severly disabled would be high. My girlfriend is a special education teacher and disabilities don't scare her. But she was told that essentially, if her child survived, he/she would be so limited that his/her quality of life would be very poor.

After hearing that, they made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy. She thought she was going to the doctor to get a shot to slow the baby's growth but when she got there she found out that the baby was getting a shot to stop the heartbeat. So now, my girlfriend is carrying a lifeless little baby inside of her. She'll have a procedure on Wednesday that will remove the baby from her.

It's heartbreaking to see her go through this. She is such a wonderful person with a huge heart and a lot of love.

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Dad has been home for a week now and seems to be doing okay. I changed his dressings yesterday and his wounds are looking much better. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that they'll heal and new ones will break out or that because he's home and not getting the same care as in the hospital that they will stop doing better and start getting bigger and deeper again.

His spirits seem to be good but his hearing and his eyesight are deteriorating. I think the hearing is because of his bed, because the airflow mattress makes so much noise that he has to turn the TV up just to be able to hear it. He has a similar bed here at home so it's no better now. But his eyesight scares me.

I feel so bad for him. He's so young. It's hard for me but it's got to be terrible for him.

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I picked up my dress for Mary's wedding yesterday. It's better but I'm not thrilled with it. And I can't get my head around the dress shop selling me the larger size. They had my measurements, they knew how much would have to be taken in on the top. And they knew that I was not local and that they would therefore not be doing my alterations.

Well, it's not horrible. Don't get me wrong. It's just not as good as I had hoped. Luckily for me, most people won't do more than glance at me.

Hahahaha... I could always blame it on my shape. I mean my body is not well proportioned. Yes, that's it! It's not me. It's my body.

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Well, Weight Watchers is going. I have almost a week under my belt. I'm nervous to see what the scale says on Tuesday though. I've tried to follow it. The first day I was under my alotted points by 5. The second day I was over by about 10. It's interesting to say the least. I never really looked at portion sizes before so it's kind of cool to see how much I was eating compared to how much I actually need. I'm hopeful that I'll still think it's neat on Tuesday when I weigh in for the first time again.

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